Dear World,
I have a problem that can't be solved and won't be solved because people are people and therefore...yeah. Pretty much sums it up.
But anyway, the problem is religious beliefs. Christians in particular here. I have no problem with ANY religion so long as it doesn't harm anyone. But Christians, just let me harp on ya'll for a second. I don't get it. Always talking about being oppressed and that people don't want to hear your religion. Um hello, think people got it. It's the most widely accepted religion around, you can find a church on every corner with a member trying to bless you to boot, and there's even billboards on the side of the roads in the South promoting Christianity. So I don't really think you're that oppressed. You just like to get mad when someone doesn't agree with you. Demonizing them for their beliefs in the name of your God. Btw, that's not cool. Not even by the bible's standards. Just a little FYI.
I love all people, don't mind what religion you are, but do not be a bigoted idiot in the name of "religion". First of all you look stupid and second you're giving a bad rep to everyone else in your religion. Just some food for thought there.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
Currently
Dear World,
I'm halfway dead right now because I'm trying to catch a cold yet again and I just worked five hours straight in a restaurant, but that's okay. I shall survive. I have to.
I wanted to give an update on everything. Mainly wanted to talk about the books I am currently reading. I was suggested heavily by my boyfriend to read the Eragon series and therefore I have started it. He probably wouldn't have dropped the subject until I did anyway. Lol. So far I am liking it a lot though I haven't gotten past the part where the dragon hatches. I know, I know, so slow of me. I've also already seen the movie but I want to read the book. Give it an honest chance to surprise me. On my list is also Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas which is an amazing series already and I'm only on Chapter 6. Then there's A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray which is another great young adult fiction story. Though a bit on the childish side for my age group. I took a long time to get around to it. The girl in the story is 16 so she doesn't really relate to me anymore. Still an engaging story and good read though.
That's all the reading I'm doing at the moment and I hope you guys are enjoying great reads as well!!
I'm halfway dead right now because I'm trying to catch a cold yet again and I just worked five hours straight in a restaurant, but that's okay. I shall survive. I have to.
I wanted to give an update on everything. Mainly wanted to talk about the books I am currently reading. I was suggested heavily by my boyfriend to read the Eragon series and therefore I have started it. He probably wouldn't have dropped the subject until I did anyway. Lol. So far I am liking it a lot though I haven't gotten past the part where the dragon hatches. I know, I know, so slow of me. I've also already seen the movie but I want to read the book. Give it an honest chance to surprise me. On my list is also Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas which is an amazing series already and I'm only on Chapter 6. Then there's A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray which is another great young adult fiction story. Though a bit on the childish side for my age group. I took a long time to get around to it. The girl in the story is 16 so she doesn't really relate to me anymore. Still an engaging story and good read though.
That's all the reading I'm doing at the moment and I hope you guys are enjoying great reads as well!!
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Best Time of the Year
Dear World,
First I want to let everyone who doesn't know that October 7th was the anniversary of Edgar Allan Poe's death. Which is still a mystery to this day but he left behind a ton of good work. One of my goals is to go to the museum in Virginia! That would be awesome. If you can't tell, he's my favorite author. Of all time. Valley of Unrest is my favorite poem and really reflects the tone of his work mostly.
Also, I am excited because Mum Fest is finally here! It's the best time to be in New Bern in my opinion. There's vendors and carnival food, rides and all kinds of fun. Honestly, it's the only reason I'd ever want to stay in New Bern. They also have a book sale here hosted by the Shriners which is always great to go to. I never can resist the lure of new books. I'm also excited because this will be the first Mum Fest that I get to go to with my boyfriend! I am currently watching the clock and waiting for eight to roll around. Seems like time is taking forever to move.
I also have been editing some on Dangerous Love yet again. I made it to Chapter 7 before stopping. My brain was having an ADHD fit so I gave up. I think I'm a little too excited to work properly at editing. So for now I guess I will get ready and then read until Cj gets here.
First I want to let everyone who doesn't know that October 7th was the anniversary of Edgar Allan Poe's death. Which is still a mystery to this day but he left behind a ton of good work. One of my goals is to go to the museum in Virginia! That would be awesome. If you can't tell, he's my favorite author. Of all time. Valley of Unrest is my favorite poem and really reflects the tone of his work mostly.
Also, I am excited because Mum Fest is finally here! It's the best time to be in New Bern in my opinion. There's vendors and carnival food, rides and all kinds of fun. Honestly, it's the only reason I'd ever want to stay in New Bern. They also have a book sale here hosted by the Shriners which is always great to go to. I never can resist the lure of new books. I'm also excited because this will be the first Mum Fest that I get to go to with my boyfriend! I am currently watching the clock and waiting for eight to roll around. Seems like time is taking forever to move.
I also have been editing some on Dangerous Love yet again. I made it to Chapter 7 before stopping. My brain was having an ADHD fit so I gave up. I think I'm a little too excited to work properly at editing. So for now I guess I will get ready and then read until Cj gets here.
Monday, October 6, 2014
Getting Caught Up
Dear World,
It's been a while!
I'd like to say a big hello while I have the time. I am currently working away at my job which I love. There is always things to do in a restaurant which makes me happy. Being busy keeps me happy the most.
So far the only thing I have been getting slack on is my editing and writing. After working so much you really don't feel like doing any writing. At least I don't. Currently, I am editing for semicolons since that's one area I'm pretty bad at. I made it to chapter five of the first book before getting sidetracked. My goal is to get it finished at least by Christmas and then we'll see where we go from there. Need to get back to my editing and soon if I want to meet my goal.
It's been a while!
I'd like to say a big hello while I have the time. I am currently working away at my job which I love. There is always things to do in a restaurant which makes me happy. Being busy keeps me happy the most.
So far the only thing I have been getting slack on is my editing and writing. After working so much you really don't feel like doing any writing. At least I don't. Currently, I am editing for semicolons since that's one area I'm pretty bad at. I made it to chapter five of the first book before getting sidetracked. My goal is to get it finished at least by Christmas and then we'll see where we go from there. Need to get back to my editing and soon if I want to meet my goal.
Friday, September 19, 2014
It Will Rain
Dear World,
Why does it seem like everything comes in spells of great amount at bad times? When things seem to be going good there's always something that creeps in to destroy it. Why is that? It leaves you feeling torn between the good and the bad. And it's sad mostly because you'd like to enjoy the good but the bad overshadows it. It's a sad fact of life that people focus on the negative instead of the positive. Sometimes I catch myself doing this and I loathe myself for it. But sometimes bad things pile up and then you're stuck thinking about them. One of the things I hate most is feeling torn about anything but currently I am torn about everything. The only thing steady and constant in my life is my job, which is good but also bad. I want to feel sure about other things as well.
My heart currently feels like a punching bag that no one cares about. It's been used and abused and it's on it's last leg so if you get a chance pray for my heart. It could use some TLC and a good purge with straight alcohol. There's so much negativity hidden within my heart that won't go away and I'm so sad that I don't know what to do. My brain is telling me to just give up while my heart says to keep fighting cause there's a chance. I don't know which one to believe. I hate having hope for something that won't happen though; it makes me feel like a fool. Collecting all this hope and it gets wasted. Such a shame but it happens. Chaos currently describes my mind and heart. I have been told several times that it's not worth it and to give up. A part of me is super tempted to just say fuck it but another part wants to see change happen; wants to give it a chance. Because it's great when it's great but there's little things that add up to bad things. There's also big things that lead to total mistrust and hurt feelings. I hate hurting the people I care about the most to the point that I can't even give critique because I'm afraid it won't be accepted well. For the people I care about I will go above and beyond any means necessary. I feel that's the way you're supposed to treat loved ones. Be honest, be thoughtful, and always show your emotions no matter how rough because if they love you they will stick around. It's only the ones who care who can take you for the good and the bad. But what do you do when the bad and the good equal out? I've always heard to make a pros and cons list and if the cons win then that person loses, but what about if they're equal? Do you forgive and forget or let them go?
Maybe I don't know what love is but my version has always been being upfront, polite, caring, emotional, sentimental and nice. If you can't start with kindness then you have nothing in my opinion. I've always loved and I've always wanted to be loved in the way that I love. No conditions, no mockery, no lies and always with an open heart. I'm starting to feel like that's never going to happen though.
Why does it seem like everything comes in spells of great amount at bad times? When things seem to be going good there's always something that creeps in to destroy it. Why is that? It leaves you feeling torn between the good and the bad. And it's sad mostly because you'd like to enjoy the good but the bad overshadows it. It's a sad fact of life that people focus on the negative instead of the positive. Sometimes I catch myself doing this and I loathe myself for it. But sometimes bad things pile up and then you're stuck thinking about them. One of the things I hate most is feeling torn about anything but currently I am torn about everything. The only thing steady and constant in my life is my job, which is good but also bad. I want to feel sure about other things as well.
My heart currently feels like a punching bag that no one cares about. It's been used and abused and it's on it's last leg so if you get a chance pray for my heart. It could use some TLC and a good purge with straight alcohol. There's so much negativity hidden within my heart that won't go away and I'm so sad that I don't know what to do. My brain is telling me to just give up while my heart says to keep fighting cause there's a chance. I don't know which one to believe. I hate having hope for something that won't happen though; it makes me feel like a fool. Collecting all this hope and it gets wasted. Such a shame but it happens. Chaos currently describes my mind and heart. I have been told several times that it's not worth it and to give up. A part of me is super tempted to just say fuck it but another part wants to see change happen; wants to give it a chance. Because it's great when it's great but there's little things that add up to bad things. There's also big things that lead to total mistrust and hurt feelings. I hate hurting the people I care about the most to the point that I can't even give critique because I'm afraid it won't be accepted well. For the people I care about I will go above and beyond any means necessary. I feel that's the way you're supposed to treat loved ones. Be honest, be thoughtful, and always show your emotions no matter how rough because if they love you they will stick around. It's only the ones who care who can take you for the good and the bad. But what do you do when the bad and the good equal out? I've always heard to make a pros and cons list and if the cons win then that person loses, but what about if they're equal? Do you forgive and forget or let them go?
Maybe I don't know what love is but my version has always been being upfront, polite, caring, emotional, sentimental and nice. If you can't start with kindness then you have nothing in my opinion. I've always loved and I've always wanted to be loved in the way that I love. No conditions, no mockery, no lies and always with an open heart. I'm starting to feel like that's never going to happen though.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
A Beautiful Person
Dear World,
Today I met a very beautiful person thanks to a status update on Facebook. She didn't have to comment on it or give me hope but she did. Lately I have been so filled with bitter resentment about the world and it's inhabitants. I was thinking about giving up and giving in; I was done trying and no one giving me a chance. All I ever seem to get is a hard time and that was my mentality. It was wrong and this person has given me hope.
Her name is Shawna McCallister and she's a writer like I am but her stories are real. They're about her life and what she's been through. Many hardships hit her at a young age and she has overcome all of them. In my status update I was talking about how over the years I've gone through a lot and now more obstacles are cropping up and it didn't seem like I would overcome them. Shawna commented and talked to me. She is a truly wonderful person and I'm so glad I read her story. Her story is called Does Anyone Really Know Me? For anyone who has ever had a hard time or dealt with loss; I suggest you read this book! Shawna is a wonderful person I hope to continue talking to. I'm not the best at making friends but I'd love to have this inspiring woman as a friend!
Today I met a very beautiful person thanks to a status update on Facebook. She didn't have to comment on it or give me hope but she did. Lately I have been so filled with bitter resentment about the world and it's inhabitants. I was thinking about giving up and giving in; I was done trying and no one giving me a chance. All I ever seem to get is a hard time and that was my mentality. It was wrong and this person has given me hope.
Her name is Shawna McCallister and she's a writer like I am but her stories are real. They're about her life and what she's been through. Many hardships hit her at a young age and she has overcome all of them. In my status update I was talking about how over the years I've gone through a lot and now more obstacles are cropping up and it didn't seem like I would overcome them. Shawna commented and talked to me. She is a truly wonderful person and I'm so glad I read her story. Her story is called Does Anyone Really Know Me? For anyone who has ever had a hard time or dealt with loss; I suggest you read this book! Shawna is a wonderful person I hope to continue talking to. I'm not the best at making friends but I'd love to have this inspiring woman as a friend!
Monday, August 11, 2014
The Waiting Game
Dear World,
Just sigh, big sigh of frustration. Yet again school is on hold because the classes are all full. First the school people lost the scholarship papers I filled out and after completing them again, the classes are full!! Beginning to believe that this is not going to work in my favor this semester or any semester. It's so frustrating getting pumped up for school and then not able to go because of other people's mistakes. I feel like this school is just yanking my chain and I don't appreciate that. I really want to go and get these two classes done but it's start and stall with them.
Living with my grandma is an amazing thing and I love this house but I honestly don't want to spend another semester sitting here. I took a semester break, not a forever break! Jeesh! I've simply got to find something to do if I don't get selected from the waiting list for the classes. My hope is that I'll get a job to better myself and also pass the time. Cause honestly, I feel like I'm wasting time and I hate that. I enjoy responsibility and I enjoy having something to do. I'm not some lazy fool who wants to waste her life away. There's dreams and goals I want to accomplish and I'm going to see that they are. No matter what I have to do; I'm getting this Pharmacy Tech degree and starting a career from it.
For now though I pray a lot and read to calm my ever rising nerves.
Just sigh, big sigh of frustration. Yet again school is on hold because the classes are all full. First the school people lost the scholarship papers I filled out and after completing them again, the classes are full!! Beginning to believe that this is not going to work in my favor this semester or any semester. It's so frustrating getting pumped up for school and then not able to go because of other people's mistakes. I feel like this school is just yanking my chain and I don't appreciate that. I really want to go and get these two classes done but it's start and stall with them.
Living with my grandma is an amazing thing and I love this house but I honestly don't want to spend another semester sitting here. I took a semester break, not a forever break! Jeesh! I've simply got to find something to do if I don't get selected from the waiting list for the classes. My hope is that I'll get a job to better myself and also pass the time. Cause honestly, I feel like I'm wasting time and I hate that. I enjoy responsibility and I enjoy having something to do. I'm not some lazy fool who wants to waste her life away. There's dreams and goals I want to accomplish and I'm going to see that they are. No matter what I have to do; I'm getting this Pharmacy Tech degree and starting a career from it.
For now though I pray a lot and read to calm my ever rising nerves.
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