Wednesday, August 13, 2014

A Beautiful Person

Dear World,

Today I met a very beautiful person thanks to a status update on Facebook. She didn't have to comment on it or give me hope but she did. Lately I have been so filled with bitter resentment about the world and it's inhabitants. I was thinking about giving up and giving in; I was done trying and no one giving me a chance. All I ever seem to get is a hard time and that was my mentality. It was wrong and this person has given me hope.

Her name is Shawna McCallister and she's a writer like I am but her stories are real. They're about her life and what she's been through. Many hardships hit her at a young age and she has overcome all of them. In my status update I was talking about how over the years I've gone through a lot and now more obstacles are cropping up and it didn't seem like I would overcome them. Shawna commented and talked to me. She is a truly wonderful person and I'm so glad I read her story. Her story is called Does Anyone Really Know Me? For anyone who has ever had a hard time or dealt with loss; I suggest you read this book! Shawna is a wonderful person I hope to continue talking to. I'm not the best at making friends but I'd love to have this inspiring woman as a friend!

Monday, August 11, 2014

The Waiting Game

Dear World,

Just sigh, big sigh of frustration. Yet again school is on hold because the classes are all full. First the school people lost the scholarship papers I filled out and after completing them again, the classes are full!! Beginning to believe that this is not going to work in my favor this semester or any semester. It's so frustrating getting pumped up for school and then not able to go because of other people's mistakes. I feel like this school is just yanking my chain and I don't appreciate that. I really want to go and get these two classes done but it's start and stall with them.

Living with my grandma is an amazing thing and I love this house but I honestly don't want to spend another semester sitting here. I took a semester break, not a forever break! Jeesh! I've simply got to find something to do if I don't get selected from the waiting list for the classes. My hope is that I'll get a job to better myself and also pass the time. Cause honestly, I feel like I'm wasting time and I hate that. I enjoy responsibility and I enjoy having something to do. I'm not some lazy fool who wants to waste her life away. There's dreams and goals I want to accomplish and I'm going to see that they are. No matter what I have to do; I'm getting this Pharmacy Tech degree and starting a career from it.

For now though I pray a lot and read to calm my ever rising nerves.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Flip Flop

Dear World,

My brain has been jumbled from the going to school mentality to not going to school thanks to the ever wonderful Financial Aid. Never had a problem with it before but now they want verification of tax information and such. Sigh. The never ending cycle of b.s. that you have to go through just to go to school. I never realized that it'd be so difficult to get done with college. In my world you should be able to go off of your own name and the fact that you have nothing. Instead, you must ask your parents for their tax information so they can vouch for you. Which is always a lovely process with my parent so thank you ever so much Financial Aid. For right now it looks like I will be going to school which makes me happy.

Now if I could just get the parent in mention to stop badgering me about everything! It'd be really lovely; I mean, I'd really super duper appreciate it. Every little thing turns into an argument with her. My faith, the fact that I took a semester break, I don't have a job, I don't do enough around the house and the list goes on. The best one is telling me who and when I can invite someone over, especially my boyfriend. That's the real kicker that pisses me off. A lot of people have been telling me he shouldn't be here as if it's their house and they have a say. Mom is the number one supporter of "the talk" as I've deemed it. Everyone has their ever so nice opinions but I don't see them in charge of this house. Also, it's obviously okay with the person who is in charge of this house so in my opinion (since we want to give them out so much) is that it's not for you to comment on. Not your house, not your rules and not your call. Grandma's already given me permission to sternly talk to the next person who mentions what and who she lets in her house. Just so you're warned in advance. Grandma and I have a mutual understanding and that's all that really matters. You may not agree and that's okay; as people we all don't agree with something in someone's life. Doesn't mean we were made to vocalize it. I thought I'd get this off of my chest though since it's rubbed me the wrong way for far too long.

Thanks for your time!

Friday, August 8, 2014

The Issue

Dear World,

I have issues; I think as people we all do and there's nothing we can do but try to live with them. Most of my issues stem from a long time isolated and alone or finding out I couldn't trust the people I thought I could. And I'm not going to lie; it causes a lot of problems later in life. The one thing I mostly deal with is insecurity because I've never had any. Depression also acts up til the whole world seems hopeless and I'm it's number one lost cause.

In relationships I am especially insecure because it never occurred to me that anyone would ever love me; most of the guys I've ever dated really didn't so yeah, I have issues. Lots of them; tons of them to go along with my usually broken heart. Cheating has always been an issue for me because it has happened to me before and it hurt; going into other relationships you worry and you wonder. At least I do. Maybe that's wrong of me because it's a new person but when you've heard, "You know I won't cheat on you" before it kind of means nothing since it's already been said and broken. I guess it's hard for people to understand that I need more than those words. I need a reason that you won't cheat because apparently no one before has ever found a reason not to. A little positive affirmation goes a long way with me and makes me feel loads better.

Making Friends

Dear World,

On my Facebook account I have been making a lot of new friends who are authors, bloggers and readers alike. I really enjoy getting to know other people as long as they're not creepers who want my phone number within the first five minutes of conversation or confess love for me when they don't know me. Just creepy mcCreepy there.

One friend I have made is named on Facebook Publisher Dave Erickson who is a very nice person and totally not a creep. He has a blog as well that I would like to mention; it's called https://www.daveericksonblog.com and it is amazing. Dave is a writer who does historical fiction but is starting an erotica novel. Whatever he writes is sure to be promising so go check out his blog!

I'm hoping to make other friends as well but I'm just so shy when it comes to talking to other people! I never know exactly what to say and I fear making a fool of myself the most. So we'll see how my adventure of making friends goes!

Until then, check out the blog and remember to love a local author, leave a review on any website you can and read away!!

Friday, August 1, 2014

Use Common Sense

Dear World,

I have been taking notice of the people in the world ever since I was a small child and I have come to the conclusion the world would be better off without you. All of us. Not only do we harm the world but we harm each other with words and actions. We are cruel beings and totally ignorant at times. But then there are those people you meet who make things look one hundred times better. I happen to be dating one of those said people.

Unfortunately I know several people who are not cool and who are ignorant turd faces who like to start drama. Calling people out on Facebook and then there are the lovely people who have to comment even though they don't know what's going on. For instance, my friend is having a fight with another friend and thinks my boyfriend spread her "personal life" around town so what does she do? Goes to Facebook and calls him out, tagging his name. When he hasn't even spoken to the said friend she's in a fight with nor did he know they were having a fight. So do explain how he spread her personal life?? And second, if you didn't want your ever so personal personal life not to be shared then why blast someone on Facebook talking about said personal life? I mean for real!? How bout learn your facts and determine what you want in life first. If you want to blast your business then go for it but don't post about how you want a private personal life on Facebook. That's just contradicting.

And then there's the last people I want to talk about; the people that join the bandwagon and don't even know what it's being used for. Yeah, those annoying people. Don't like 'em, can't stand 'em. I've always lived by the motto of: Don't speak unless you know what you're speaking about. And this applies to everything. Because frankly, if you don't know something, why would you even try to talk about it? You'll just have a difficult time and look stupid. So maybe people like that should learn a thing or two and not comment about how "pissed off" they are at the person for spreading the other person's business.